1. |
No One Else to Blame
03:01
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Ain't going to the city again
I don't like the fickle lights
Of Nashville & New Orleans
I won't pause for the empty promises
of New York & LA
& I don't care for the nasty stares
From Portland Oregon to Portland Maine
I ain't going to the city again
Ain't gonna fill up my glass
It's gonna take all of my strength
To rip this monkey off my back
But I won't wake with the shakes
Or vomiting black
& it's no nights of alley lights
Looking for glitter & skag
I left them days far off in the past
Maybe it's my age or how the times have changed
But I'm rooting out everything that used to give me pain
Now I'm all alone & I don't mind it at all
Cause there'll be no one else to blame when I fall
Won't give you my heart anymore
Toe to toe & blow for blow
Until we've evened the score
I know I had to let you go
When you looked me in the eye
& asked why I didn't love you
& I gave no reply
Just turned my back & that was my goodbye
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2. |
Staging Away
02:36
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Well I'm staging away
For the whole shift today
While others go & dig that fireline
I'm staging away
& I'm still getting paid
Waiting for my time to shine
I hear the hotshot pulaski a ringin'
As smoke jumpers fall from the sky
But there's no line to dig
As I'm sittin' in the rig
Askin' my crew boss "why?"
I'm staging away
For the whole shift today
Waiting for my time to shine
It's been a long season my darlin'
But dispatch keeps callin' me
Now when I get home
You've upped and gone
Now sorrow is my company
So I'm staging away
With my heartbreak
Waitin for my time to shine
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3. |
Running From Myself
04:58
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I had a dream the trains stopped running
So I had to quit running from myself
& no one picked me up when I was thumbing
& every liquor store in town had empty shelves
I went down to the corner
To find my man so I could cop
But the only thing that found me was an old lady
Who said my connection had been popped
Now all I do is sit here
Trapped in the confines of my mind
& I hope that I will wake soon
This nightmare has to end sometime
I went to see my old lady
Who once spoke tenderly of love
When I got to her house her husband was holding a baby
& he said she with the angels above
I went down to the cemetery
With my knife and my old gun
But my knife it had a blunt edge
& all my ammo was gone
Now all I do is sit here
Trapped in the confines of my mind
& I hope that I will wake soon
This nightmare has to end sometime
I screamed at the preacher
Said "What of my crimes has brought me to this hell!?"
But the preacher just turned me over to the policeman
Now I'm rotting here in this jail cell
I saw old death a commin'
Said "Take me with you" as I stared into his eyes
But the only thing that stared back were empty sockets
As that bag of bones done passed me by
Now all I do is sit here
Trapped in the confines of my mind
& I hope that I will wake soon
This nightmare has to end sometime
I had a dream the trains stopped running
So I had to quit running from myself
& no one picked me up when I was thumbing
& every liquor store in town had empty shelves
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4. |
Mourning, Noon & Night
03:39
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I wake in the morning & wish I was still asleep
For with my eyes closed, there's no misery
No boarders are being closed
No families are being deposed
& as I get up to start my day
As I look around I remember
All the pain
I walk through the town looking for a friend
But the people all round are lost in their hands
Passing by like ghosts
Sharing their own shadows
They pass me by as I move along
So connected and still
So Alone
Searching for meaning late into the night
Or a possible purpose to make things alright
There's no revelations now
I got to keep going somehow
I get under the covers & try to sleep
But with my eyes closed
I believe
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5. |
Gatefold
04:16
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Is it my conditioning that I keep consuming more
Scour the record store like a fiend from artists A-Z
& checking the pressings for original release
Buy new & used titles & trade Cassettes & Vinyl for free
Cause ribbon & grooves are the art of impermanency
& I am an addict for rectangles of plastic
I'll give you my last cent cause it's my replacement
For being wasted screaming on the kitchen floor
& I am addicted to limited addition
Color vinyl reissues with gate folded inserts
With my money gone I can't get spun anymore
Thinking back on all the tracks
On every mix I wasted on you
As you use
Discographies & histories to try & get into his jeans
But every measure of your lecture came straight from me
The tracking force isn't the source of why you're on repeat
& grinding me down just like an old slip sheet
& I am an addict for rectangles of plastic
I'll give you my last cent cause it's my replacement
For being wasted screaming on the kitchen floor
& I am addicted to limited addition
Color vinyl reissues with gate folded inserts
With my money gone I can't get spun anymore
& I'm not sure if this obsessive collection
Is a good investment as my will & testament
Or a waste of time
Like crashing stock as closing bell chimes
A witching hour trade as their cutting the lathe
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6. |
Delusions
03:31
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Blood stain on the side of the road
Pull over & take a photo
Truth uncovered as you hover
Like a social vulture
Hungry to feel something that's real
Pecking at the ribcage for your next meal
How I wish you could feel a pain
That is genuine instead of shadowing everyone
Up in your head
Silent & dead
Echoing the lies that you self fed
Regurgitating oscillating
Reality forsaken
Spinning alone
Nobody knows
How high your delusions have grown
How I wish you could feel a pain
That is genuine instead of shadowing everyone
Some day you find
It's not what you had in mind
No a spotlight glamor show
Just a darkness you've never known
Some day you will see
Life's a tragic comedy
Where we all play supporting roles
Until the moment we go
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7. |
Bittersweet
03:23
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I say I don't care if this goes anywhere
& that I'm happy sitting talking to you
Putting songs on a tape just to save face
So my heart won't get beat black & blue
I keep on writing letters but I'm too scared to send em
Transpose into a novel someday
But my library voice isn't quiet by choice
It just don't have much to say
I keep expecting a no
Or is it implied when you sigh
Then why do you keep coming by "to say hi"
Bittersweet when you go
A taste I have acquired & won't tire of
Someday you might say
That I don't have to say goodbye
Looking through the lens trying to pretend
That there's nothing behind the eyes
Like when you take an avid reader to a drive in double feature
Is it adoration or jealous spite
Up to interpretation hope it's not hallucination
That there's truth behind the smile
& if it's false then I'm at a loss to be so easily guiled
We keep talking so
I think it's alright not contrite
Keep talking till morning birds take flight in the light
Even when I'm alone
I feel you on my mind
Like a crime
That I will confess and do time
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8. |
War Wounds
02:34
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I always dreaded that
We'd get married &
Resent each other
Just like father did
& we'd pit the kids
Against each other
Like a war to be won
With battle lines being drawn
After the cease fire was ordered
We both tried to stay sober
But it was camouflage
Self sabotage
Collateral damage from a full blown barrage
That we invested
hand over fist until the last cent was gone
& accounts overdrawn
After we called it quits
You won the arms race
To find love next
While I'm dismantling my arsenal
With calls for armistice
Now every morning I wake
& I don't contemplate the choices we made
For wounds from the war have scared
& Started to fade
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9. |
Tears in My Eyes
03:51
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Well all my clothes are dirty
& the soles of my boots have worn down
& working hard seems
To be not working out
& as I watch the home I was building
Burn to the ground
Ashes & memories
Are all that are found
The days are getting shorter
As clouds gather for the storm
& the nights get colder
& I'm trying to hard to stay warm
& as I shake all over
Rocking myself to sleep
I pray that I will find peace
Somewhere in my dreams
Don't give me no bottle cause I won't drink a drop
& I don't need a needle cause my veins have closed shop
& rather feel pain than be numb one more day
At least I'll feel alive
With tears in my eyes
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